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There are good days and there are bad days. When the bad days hit, they usher in with them the sinking feeling of fear. And it is terrifying.
I see visions of myself, in five years, look at wedding pictures I was never invited to see, watching smiles I never could manage. Seeing from behind a glass wall the maternal instincts kick in like I knew they always would, as little half copies of her run around with a face half unfamiliar to me. And she’s happy without me in her thoughts.
It’s so scary I shake sometimes.
I will live with this, and die with this, and always bear the broken parts of me with a sad and still resignation. More than anything, this is me.
I just want to love your face.
Thanks. It wants taco bell, so thats a pretty good venue to express love…
I genuinely believe that you are the most beautiful human being I have ever met. I've only ever talked to you once in person, but it was enough to turn my legs to jelly. I miss seeing you because to me you are sunshine. Your imperfections aren't even imperfections because you own them and turn them into a thing of beauty. I am not expecting a response to this. You have subconsciously worked your way into my heart and it is a thing I welcome with open arms.
I hope you can retain that image. If you knew me well you would think otherwise.
how do you personally distinguish between being spiritual and religious? do you think it's possible for someone to be both?
I’m not entirely sure what I think. Here’s what I would tell someone if they asked me that question and I didn’t want to get in a huge epistemological discussion with them:
I think that being a spiritual person means connectedness, closness, or intimacy with God. I think all people are capable of this, or at least an awareness of this inherent part of themselves.
Religion constitutes a man-made dogma, a list of do’s and don’t’s that are man’s attempt to a) get closer to God via works and b) elevate themselves above others who do not perform in a similar manner. I hate religion. It has caused countless atrocities, none of which I want to associate myself with.
Thats a quick explaination from my perspective.
i worry about you sometimes. i hope you're doing well. really genuinely well.
Sorry For causing worry. I’m surviving.
When the noise of my life finally subsides, and I am left alone, and everything is still, I still feel empty.
would you ever marry someone who isn't religious?
I think it would be very difficult for me to marry someone who IS religious.
Is the name of the movie I’m watching right now. It details a middle age man so disgusted with American Mainstream culture and distraught over his cancerous tumour, that he becomes completely disillusioned with American culture at large.
So he goes on a killing spree, and murder’s reality tv stars, celebrities, and the like. Pretty Reasonable.
I absolutely love it. Our culture is terrible.
I’m actually mad at myself for Immediately going to social media to talk about it.
All girls ever love you.
And I love you. Therefore all girls ever love you.
are you happy in your relationship? for some reason, i feel like something is missing. i don't really know, this is an outsider's perspective. and i understand, obviously, if you take any amount of offense to this. i mean, why wouldn't you. but i just genuinely feel like some sort of spark is missing. but again, i am neither you, nor your girlfriend, and i don't truly know how much you two care for one another. but regardless, you are a really great kid and i would just like to see you happy!
Hm. I don’t really know what you’re referring. I’m happy, and I don’t feel that way, but If I knew you I’d probably say that I appreciate the concern, friend.
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